


Not So Fearless

by coolgirl3890



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Family, Family Fluff, Interesting NPCs Mod, Kid Fic, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 19:36:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4577247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolgirl3890/pseuds/coolgirl3890
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"But Papa, you're the Dragonborn. What could possibly scare you?"</p><p>"A lot of things. Losing you, your brother, your father. That's what scares me the most"</p><p>Sofie learns that her father, despite what the tales and legends tell, is still only a man</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not So Fearless

Sofie was thirsty. So thirsty that it woke her in the middle of the night with a dry throat and a even dryer mouth. This couldn't wait till morning, thought Sofie, or she might just die.

She would have to be quiet though. It was a surprisingly quiet night in the Pale. Usually, there would be the background noise of wind howling outside, creaking wood, or the occasional hoot of an owl. Nothing would mask the sound of her feet pattering on the floor. Sofie slipped out of the covers and let her feet hit the hardwood floor. It wasn't Alesan she wasn't so careful around, he slept like the dead, it was her parents. Years of adventuring taught them to be wary of any suspicious noises at night and to sleep with one eye open unless they wanted to wake up with a dagger to their throat.

Unfortunately, to reach the kitchen she would have to go through her parents' room.

She reached the doorless entrance to her fathers' bedroom. Tiptoeing across the room, she stopped briefly to observe her sleeping guardians.

On the right side of the bed was her High Elf father, Rumarin. Sofie was taught since the day she was born that all High Elves were snotty, uptight, and possibly a Thalmor spy. Rumarin couldn't have been further from that stereotype. He stayed home with her and her brother while her other father was gone adventuring, making sure his adoptive children never felt lonely and abandoned like when their parents left them. He would teach them how to juggle, first with tomatoes then on to the knives, he would jokingly say. He told stories of his childhood when he traveled with a trope with his parents and would tell them the jokes he learned as a child. Alesan and her learned to watch their grammar when speaking with him unless they wanted to hear a horrible joke. "I'm hungry" or "I'm bored" one of them would say. Rumarin would then smile broadly and say with no shame "Hello, Hungry" or "Hello, Bored. I'm Dad". Overall, both felt lucky to have such a funny and caring father.

Then on the left side of the bed was her Argonian father, the Dragonborn, or more commonly referred as "Reemus" by his family and close friends. Unlike her Altmer father, who was splayed out on his back snoring softly, Reemus was in the fetal position with his back to Rumarin. Nothing unusual, save for the pained expression on his face. Sofie continued on with her quest for a glass of water or maybe a cup of milk if there was any left.

That is until she heard Reemus talking.

Sofie turned around startled, afraid that her father caught her up at night. He was still sleeping but he was actually talking in his sleep. That was a common thing a person would do but Sofie grew concerned when the pained expression on his face grew as if someone was stabbing him, clutching his pillow tighter and breathing harder with each passing moment. What she first thought to be gibberish turned out to be the ancient Dragon tongue her father used as a weapon to defeat his scaly foes. She didn't understand what they meant but she recognized after much begging from her and Alesan to hear him say a few words in the Tongue then translate what he said.

" _Nid, lig, ni niin. Lig dreh ni ahraan, Nust los pah Zu'u lost vahlut ko lein. Rah lig naangein nuz_ _niin_!"

Then, as if struck by lightning, bolted upright at an unthinkable speed. Sofie rushed back to her room, her great thirst suddenly forgotten.

**. . .**

_She was in Windhelm. Why was she back in Windhelm? It looked like Windhelm but there was no one to be seen. The streets were empty and Sofie couldn't hear any noises from the houses. She didn't have any time to think as to why she was alone until she heard the unmistakable roar of a dragon._

_Horrified, Sofie looked up to the sky to see a dragon descending on her. It wasn't like any dragon she has ever seen before. It's scales were as black and sharp as ebony. As it descended, she could see blood red eyes that pierced through her very being._

_Sofie did what any sane person would do in her situation, run. She ran through the increasingly narrow streets and felt the heat of nearby misaimed fire on her back. At first it seemed the chase would never end, Sofie forever being chased by the beast. The dragon grew closer and closer so much so that she could feel the scalding breath of it on her neck, burning the small hairs on it. Then all she could she were teeth, sharp white teeth dramatically contrast against a black background. Sofie knew in that moment that she was in the monster's mouth and now the maw was closing in on her till all she could feel was agonizing pa-_

Sofie woke up and slapped a hand over her mouth just in time to suppress a scream working it's way up her throat. She wanted to cry from how scary and realistic the dream was but she would rather die first than wake up Alesan with her crying so he could call her a big crybaby. 

Speaking of Alesan, he was still soundly asleep in the bed next to hers. Sofie knew one thing, she didn't want to go back to sleep anytime soon in fear that she would go back to that terrifying dream. Without caring who she woke up this time, Sofie lethargically got up from bed. Maybe she could finish reading that book Papa gave to her if she could light a candle to read it.

Walking towards the stairs, Sofie realized she wasn't the only person up tonight. A light source could be seen dancing on the walls and there was the popping and cackling of firewood to be heard.

It was no surprise to her to see it was Reemus who was up, her mind flashing back to two nights ago. He didn't seem any different the following morning after the nightmare, no change in his demeanor whatsoever. He probably had another nightmare and, like her, couldn't fall back asleep. Reemus had pulled up a bench by the fireplace and was currently reading a book.

Before Sofie could decide whether or not to approach her father, he turned his head around, orange eyes adjusting to the dark to make out her form. 

"Sofie" He said softly, not wanting to wake up the other occupants of the house. "Why are you awake?"

"I had a bad dream" Sofie mumbled.

She couldn't see Reemus's eyes soften abit with sympathy but she did him close his book and reach his arm out towards her.

"Come here"

Sofie shuffled over to join her father on the bench. After taking a seat next to him, she hesitated before placing her head on his lap. Reemus softly ran his talons over her scalp in a soothing motion. Back in Windhelm, Sofie used to be scared of the dock workers' claws. It seemed as though they could rip through her flesh with little to no effort on their part. But Reemus was always gentle when touching his children with his talons. It tend to be relaxing especially when putting them to sleep.

After a few mintues of watching the fire, Reemus spoke up.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No". It was more for his comfort rather than hers. Despite years of vanquishing dragons, he still cringed whenever someone brought them up. He would momentarily pause in fear when he saw a large shadow outside only to realize it was just a hawk or a oddly-shaped cloud.

"You and me both" 

It was still a bizarre notion to Sofie that her father had nightmares. Why would he? He was invincible. He defeated Alduin the Worldeater, nothing could frighten him. What Sofie saw was a man who would come home after killing bandits and dragons but would still greet his children with a warm smile and hug. What she saw was a man who would play with his children no matter how tired he was. What she saw was a loving husband who would help his spouse cook dinner at night.

What she didn't see was the thin layer of sweat and blood that the man ached to get rid of but believed he never could. What she didn't see was a man who would lean on walls and furniture when he got home or he would collapse in exhaustion. What she didn't see were the small tears that rolled down the man's cheek when he believed he was alone. What she didn't see was her Altmer father's back decorated with small bruises when the man would grab onto it so tightly after a nightmare. She couldn't because her father was a legend before a man.

"But Papa, you're the Dragonborn. What could possibly scare you?"

Reemus sighed, he desperately wanted to go back to bed with his husband but his mind wouldn't give him a restful sleep.

"A lot of things. Losing you, your brother, your father. That's what scares me the most"

That shocked Sofie. Reemus fought dragons, beasts, bandits, necromancers, powerful mages but losing his family is what scared him the most.

"You wouldn't let that happen though, Papa. You would protect us"

That was the wrong thing to say, Sofie thought, because Reemus slouched a little more after she spoke.

"I can and will certainly try, but that doesn't mean it still couldn't happen"

Sofie wanted to protest, say that it would never happen and could always take care of them, but she didn't want to risk upsetting her father even further. Instead, she was content with letting him continue scratching her scalp and watching the flames dance. The nightmare was now a distant, foggy memory. Now the call for sleep grew too strong so Sofie let herself close her eyes feeling safe now that her father was with her.

**. . .**

Reemusglanced down at his sleeping daughter and sighed, slightly jealous that she could fall asleep so easily. She looked so peaceful too with no evidence of terror on her face or body.

He heard another person come downstairs to join them. The footsteps were heavier and took longer to hit the floor so Reemus concluded it was Rumarin.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, I woke up because I needed to take a leak. I take you had another bad dream?" Rumarin said, putting emphasis on "another".

Reemus nodded. He knew that wasn't the real reason Rumarin woke up but didn't bring it up. It would probably bring on another attempt to get him to talk about his dream. Rumarin stopped next to him when he saw their daughter curled up next to him, fast asleep.

"She had one as well?" 

"Yeah but I think she's okay for now" 

She was starting to get him sleepy now, the sound of her slow breathing and movement of her tiny chest mesmerizing.

Rumarin leaned down and gave Reemus a peck on the top of his head.

"It's no fair that she gets to have you all to herself"

Reemus smiled wearily upwards to his husband. He returned the smile.

"I didn't want to wake you up with my thrashing. It was pretty bad tonight". It wasn't one of the worst nights, though. The worst nights were when he woke up on the verge of hyperventilating in fear. When the tears came hot and fast blurring his vision, making him panic even more since he couldn't get a clear view of his surroundings. When for a few heart-stopping seconds he didn't recognize Rumarin, thinking it was a complete stranger that came to kill him. When he would bury his face in Rumarin's chest, finally coming to his senses, to muffle his sobs.

No, those nights happened before. Tonight was nothing compared to those.

"Since you saved the entire world, a few restless nights in bed with you makes us even. Wait, that came out wrong"

Reemus chuckled lightly. He scooped Sofie up in his arms and stood up, back cracking in protest. She didn't even stir.

"I'll put her back in bed then come join you"

Rumarin reached his hand out to Sofie's face, whisking away a hair near her eyes.

"I would like that"

The nightmares weren't going to end anytime soon, Reemus knew that for a fact. But he had his husband to hold him at night when the dreams became unbearable. He had Sofie and Alesan to distract him from his pitiful wallowing with their cheerful demeanor and games. They were the reason why the nightmares wouldn't come as frequently as they used to. They were the reason why he got up every morning and face the cruel, unforgiving world. 

His family couldn't fix him, but they made him feel whole again.

**Author's Note:**

> So most of this was made in the span of two sleepless nights. It's amazing what a no-sleep high can make you do. Will probably go back and edit this when I'm slightly more coherent.
> 
> On another note, Rumarin is definitely that guy who would make horrible dad jokes and you can't convince me otherwise


End file.
